Wherever you will go
by livelongprosper2012
Summary: OneshotBianca:It feels so wrong, so unreal to be dead. I though being dead would take away all the pain. I was wrong. It hurts so much, too much. I want with every fiber of my being to be with him Chris Halliwell. Before I met him, my life was a void.


**Oneshot from Bianca's point of view. The song WHEREVER YOU WILL GO by The Calling, inspired me. Read and enjoy! And tell me what you think!**

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**Wherever you will go**

It feels so wrong, so unreal to be dead. I though being dead would take away all the pain.

I was wrong. It hurts so much, too much. I want with every fiber of my being to be with _him_; Chris Halliwell. If I could turn back time, I'd do things so differently. I'd love him more; I'd be with him for all of time.

Before I met him, my life was a void. Empty. Dark. It wasn't until I loved him that I realized everything that had been missing in my life.

He brought me back from the darkness. He taught me to live, to love, to feel, to hope for a better future, to dream of a better world.

And I taught him to fight harder, to never surrender, to lie, to cheat, to hold back his feelings, to never trust, to manipulate. I taught him what was necessary to survive. I don't regret it.

Never in my lifetime would I have imagined myself falling for a Halliwell, they were good witches and me? I was an assassin- a paid assassin. On the side of who pays. And in my case, working for Wyatt Halliwell. I can still remember the day he assigned me the task of hunting down his brother Chris and bringing him back. I didn't care he was the source's brother, he was merely a target. I actually found it pathetic that _Lord_ Wyatt was still fixed on turning the boy to his side.

I found him after a couple days, it was no wonder why Wyatt had chosen me, I was simply the best he had. That is the simple truth.

Although I must admit in some ways it was slightly harder to find him and yet easy. For one he moved a lot, but for another he would visit many risky sights.

I captured him fairly easy, he was a _Halliwell_, but _**I**_ was a _Phoenix_. I fought better.

Wyatt had ordered me to return as fast as possible. But fortunately I couldn't, seeing as the Resistance was now after me, I thought it best to hide a couple of days until the danger passed. A couple of days turned into a couple of months. It was their Leader I had captured after all; they weren't going to give up so easily. And seeing as I couldn't exactly shimmer right into Wyatt's dwelling, he didn't exactly permit it, nor was it possible. There was a sort of magical shield around his lair, preventing orbing or shimmering or any kind of magical transportation except for Wyatt.

In those months Chris changed me, he got to me with his never ending talk about a better future, about fighting for what's right. He was very persistent, wouldn't stop annoying the hell out of me until he got me to talk. He always said afterwards that he had probably fallen first for me, and then I fell for him. But I think it was love at first sight. But I was just too stubborn to admit it, too lost to understand.

"_Why are you doing this?" I remember him asking._

_I answered," Because it's what I do."_

"_Do you believe in what you do?" he asked me softy but very seriously._

_I didn't know what to answer. I didn't understand why I was even talking to him or what it was I was feeling. "I don't." I finally answered with the truth._

_He nodded, like he understood. "Then why do you do it?" he asked, probing further into my life. _That is one of the things I've always liked about Chris, his curiosity you might say or his never-ending quests for truth. Ironic isn't it? Truth has always been important to him, yet he doesn't quite say the truth to the sisters. I understand. _He_ understands that it is necessary. Yet I hope they find out who he is. Because I'm gone and he needs someone there for him. He is strong, one of the strongest people I've ever met, yet I don't want him to be alone.

He needs his family, he needs me. _I_ need him. _Can he make it on his own?_

He rarely asks for help, that's how proud he is. He's also scared, we were all scared I suppose. In the future, my present that's how life is. You can never get to cocky; fear is an instinct of survival. It might seem cruel to say: **Survival of the Fittest.** But that was the simple truth, not everyone made it. Wyatt made sure of that.

It wasn't easy for me to turn away from the darkness, partly because even though I'd never admit... I was scared of Wyatt. Chris gave me courage.

"_They're gone; they've given up on you." That was the day The Resistance finally called of the search for Chris. I expected him to be angry at them, disappointed but he wasn't._

"_Maybe they have, but they can't search for me forever, there are people who need them. The world needs them, I'm just one person, I don't matter," he said what seemed ages later. It shocked me to hear him say that. I wanted to grab him, to tell him that wasn't true, that he mattered. At least to me…._

It also surprised me how different he was from his brother. Wyatt thought he was only thing that mattered, he was obviously too self centered.

Maybe that's what finally pushed me over the edge. When I realized we did have hope and Chris was our hope. I knew he would save us. I knew he would.

"_Go!" I yelled to him the next day. It was early in the morning, around 5am. I had removed all anti-magic spells around my home and spells to keep him inside.. He was free to go._

_He stared at me dumbfounded. "What?"_

_I nodded at the doors. "Go, you're free."_

"_Why?"_

_I sighed. He wasn't making it easy at all for me. "You said you didn't matter, but–but you do. You're our hope, don't you get it Chris? You can stop him. I'm not going to turn you in, so go," I whispered, holding back tears I didn't know I had. _

_He stood up and made his way to the door. He froze in the doorway. I stared at him, into those bright green eyes. _

"_Come with me," he finally said._

_I stood immobile, unbelieving. _

"_Please," he added._

"_I-I can't. I'm …. Evil."_

_He shook his head. "No." He walked back inside towards me. He stopped right in front of me, and grabbed my hands softly. Then he leaned closer and closer to me, until we were inches apart. "You're not evil," he whispered his breath on neck. He pulled me into a hug, and we stood there together._

_An eternity later, he pulled back. "So let's go," he said._

_I nodded, and surprisingly smiled._

If I could, I'd be there with him, holding him, loving him.

But I had to surrender to Wyatt.

"_Bianca, so nice of you to join us." I had just been captured._

_I glared at Wyatt as I was dragged in by his demons. I had been so stupid, and now I was paying. I had thought I'd just check into the Attic. It reminded me of Chris. And I thought maybe he'd be there. I was obviously not thinking straight. _

What made me go back in time for Chris, you ask? Wyatt had invented a new time spell that worked both ways. He was going to send his army for Chris and if that didn't work he'd be going himself. I couldn't allow that, he would hurt Chris.

He offered me the chance to go. I accepted.

The moment I was in the past, I wished with all my heart to hug him, to kiss him, to hold him. Instead I lured him to me, and hurt him. I promised myself I wouldn't and yet that's what I did. There's no excuse for what I did, except that I believed I was doing what was right.

I found him at _our place_, and he got away. A part of me let him. But I still got him. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him, that that was why I was doing this. But brought him back to the future, instead.

He had to defy Wyatt.

"_Of all the people to betray me.." _

"_I didn't go back to betray Wyatt, I went back to save you!" Chris wasn't about to give in so easily._

"_Save me? From what?" I could tell Wyatt was starting to get angry. I couldn't see where Chris was going with this._

"_From whatever evil it is that turned you!"_

That's where we were all wrong. Evil didn't turn Wyatt, a supposedly good Elder did. I can see it all now; too bad I'm dead and can't tell Chris. _They_ won't let me.

"_What about Bianca?" Phoebe asked. I saw it all, since he returned from the future._

"_She won't be a problem anymore," he answered quietly. It pained me to hear him like that._

If I had to die again, I would, anything for Chris. It doesn't matter if I'm dead, as long as he lives. Even if I want to live, I accept this. Because I know I'm still there with him.

_Wherever you will go. Way up high or down, I'm going wherever you will go._

I hope he returns to the future safely, and successfully. I hope he finds someone, even if it's not me. Everyone needs love, I know that now. With him goes my love, my life, my hope, my heart.

_**In your heart, in your mind I'll stay with you for all of time!**_

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